Week 4 * Don't stop believing

[Allison White]

Stayed yay.
Ugh. I did terrible on HOH again.
Grad tomorrow, likely nominated? IDK. I have no idea where I stand with Kathy, but the person that nominated her last round is in this house, so maybe I'll be safe?  I don't want to be nominated on my grad day because I want to be carefree all day LOL.
UGhhh. Talking to Kathy now.    

[Allison White]

I've had enough with people calling me fucking inactive or saying I don't communicate. If what I am doing now is not enough then I might as well quit. I'm not quitting but I'm frustrated. I get on after work and chat as much as I can but no one wants to fucking talk. I can't force conversation with people who are uninteresting or uninterested in talking to me. I am doing what I can to get online I participate in challenges and don't hold up the game by an extra day and a half and I'm inactive? What a crock of shit. Is there any point in even trying anymore? Because if people consider me non communicative they have already all made deals that don't include me anyway.. I wish people could have just left me alone for a while because instead of enjoying my grad day, I'm laying here incredibly frustrated and pissed off.
This isn't because I'm nominated either. I know that Kathy and I haven't communicated really well because she even just told me she's on during the day and in the late night when I'm sleeping or working, and I tried to keep Jordan in the game over her a few rounds ago so what she is doing makes sense, I am just beyond frustrated at the inactive shit. I'm sorry my schedules different than most peoples. Maybe I'm not cut out for these games anymore? Ugh.
Sorry kat, shir and hc. I just really really needed to vent.
Pretty sure I have no chance at veto either cause I suck and heaven and Kathy are challenge beasts.
Bye

[Allison White]

I'm pretty sure I got all of the people right on my veto challenge, but my time is worse than I thought it was. :/ I really want to win, but I feel like everyone I am competing against is a challenge beast...

[Allison White]

So heaven wins veto. Not surprised. What is awesome is that heaven told me I have her vote regardless and so did nick so I'm hoping nick doesn't go up as replacement. Ugh I hate being on the block!!!!

[Allison White]

Hayley also told me she is keeping me if she stays off the block, regardless of who goes up, so hooray:) should be good.

[Allison White]

Soooo, I'm officially in a showmance with Jon lol. Love him. Kathy and I have been chatting a bit more which is nice. Jon and I have been talking about our targets and we are on the same page. Jon is also worried about the females dwindling in the game. He told me his targets are Keith and kaysar but doesn't want to be seen as racist lol.
I hear Michelle is leaving from some people In her house but I'm talking to jon to see where his mind is at. He says he wants to put a guy up, he just said he was going to put a guy up, but he doesn't know what would happen. He thinks Aaryn will be the swing vote so I will message her and see if we can get a "girls" alliance so he can get the guy out with no problem.
Oh he just said lane or Ben will be the renom. I don't think I can risk trying to keep Michelle to lose lane...ugh. Now I need to weigh some things. I love lane/billy but I also need to see what's best for my game in the future.

I have tentative deals/alliances with:
Lane
Jon
Aaryn
Michelle
Heaven
Kathy
Nick

Not all have been officially called alliances but we talk like we are together when we chat so. I don't feel like I'm in an awful place in this game, although I am currently on the block and that is literally an awful place lol.